I-Writeus

I have just been diagnosed with iritis (after three wrong diagnoses of conjunctivitus and three useless series of antibiotics - more like iwrongus, so be vigilant about checking, eye-infected people). One of my favourite people M said it sounded like an illness a writer would get:

IWRITEUS

And I am more comfortable with the prognosis spelt that way! Just like I prefer thinking in terms of my "feyonce" (rhymes with Beyonce.) Aaahhh, words! And spelling! Two of my Favourite Things!

Is how a word is spelt important to you? Does it affect how you think of the word? What about with names, for example? Is Catherine the same as Kathryn? Is Jeff the same as Geoff?

Thank You Harriet Harman!

Is it just me or is it absofuckinglutely disgusting that we still live in a world where there is no equal pay?! I mean, how has nothing been done about this? It's mind-boggling.

So I guess we should be grateful (ah, yes: grateful! We women and our lowered expectations - "thank you, kind sir, for the morsels from your plate") that on Monday, Harriet Harman, the deputy Labour leader here in the UK, committed the party to supporting an equality bill that tackles this injustice.

Forget discussions about the eligibility of Dave "the Raver" Cameron, Gordon "Smiley" Brown or (gawd help us) Boris "Slick" Johnson for next term PM -- HH all the way! Also I absolutely love her name! There's something so Ramona Quimby about it.

Not All Pregnant Women Are, But ...

Introducing the amazing Garfunkel and Oates:



Thanks, Jezebel, for the link!

Bitched Out By Bacall

Growing up I had pictures of her on my wall, Betty Jane Perske that was, a fatherless child with a smouldering stare: "The Look".



Years later I spent approximately a week's wages to attend a function at the Dorchester Hotel in London to hear her speak. I approached her at an appropriate moment, then timidly said "Ms. Bacall, I don't mean to bother you ...", to which she retorted "Well, DON'T then!" before imperiously sweeping past me. Which sounds all rather grand in retrospect but I was in tears. (That said, I was younger than anyone there by about half a century and she had just bitched in her address about "the younger generation" AND it was just after that panel at Cannes where she objected to Nicole Kidman being deemed a legend, so maybe it was all just down to unfortunate timing!) But still, Lauren?!? Oh, how I loved you! You hurt me more than any man ever has!

Have you ever been dissed by someone you've adored from afar?

And Now A Word From Our Sponsors ...

This blog is sponsored by the the letters 'A' for 'Anti' and 'S' for 'Stereotype'.

This blog is predicated on the belief that we - all of us, everywhere, across genders, ages, classes, levels of ability, personal nuances and personality quirks - essentially exist within worlds that deem to categorise us in one way or another. The process whereby we absorb these external, constructed ‘truths’ about ourselves can ultimately cripple the realisation of a healthy, integrated sense of self in that our identities develop in relation to a monolithic set of assumptions about what we are and what we are not. In a world where identity politics reign, the blind acceptance of stupid stereotype-archetypes distracts, distorts and dilutes. We are smarter than that! Why, oh why won’t the mainstream media reflect this?

This is an attempted corrective. I am a female who was born in Australia in the mid-seventies. I am Jewish. I am not spoilt, manipulative, brattish, frigid or whiny. I hate shopping and have never owned anything with a designer label. But even if I was some of those things and into the other things, my gender and cultural identity are in no way responsible.

That is my starting point. This is a blog for people who hate stereotypes and want to help identify and dismantle them.

Why Am I Here?

Not in a philosophical sense! Not even I, your glorious Doctor P, can cope with that question this early in the ayem. No, I mean why add one more voice to the cacophony of blogs all struggling against each other to be heard in the echo-chamber some like to call "the blogosphere"?

I just figure that the more "clean spaces" there are out there, the easier it is for all of us web-wanderers to breathe. (And I clearly mean 'clean' in an ethical, menschlich sense as I have just noticed that three of my tags consecutively read as "pornography", "pregnant", "sex"!) I often feel so dirty when I'm feeding the Beast (that mad inner-childish type that absolutely, positively needs to know who MaryKateHudsonJenLoveAniston is dating this week) and I end up reading the most revolting sexist, racist, heterosexist, homophobic, anti-semitic, pro-evil shit spewing forth across forums and in comments sections. All it takes for that evil to thrive is for good people to blog nothing.

When I get mired in Internet-Ugly I quickly pop into my favourite sites, like Land of Meg and The Pursuit of Harpyness, and it's like I've just taken a quick shower! So even though I can't wait to get a teensy bit incendiary and I'm not promising soft-focused, rose-coloured, cotton-candy prettiness, I do hope that a visit to the Doctor keeps the bads at bay.

Take care out there, won't you?

So What's With The Title, Ya Freak?

Why "Doctor"?

I was so goddamn SICK of being asked if I was a "Miss" or "Mrs." ... or even a "Ms."!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S 2009, PEOPLE!!!!! The title "Ms." came into being in order to REPLACE the Miss/Mrs binary, not to signify a third category of angry female because why the hell do over half the world's population have to identify their frigging marital status in their name? (Because we have vaginas?) So to avoid the whole mishegas, I got a Ph. D.

Why "Plog"?

Well, "Blog = Web + Log". As a Luddite all my thoughts originate with the Mighty Pen. Ergo, "Paper + Log = Plog". (And I'm normally so bad at maths!) Also "Plog" sounds like "Plod" which conjures up images of flat-footed, bumbling policemen (and although Law Enforcement is not my schtick, I am both flat-footed and bumbling).

And ever since its importation into my world as of this morning I canna stop singing "Doc-doc-doc-doctor Plog" to the tune of Gloria Estefan's "Dr. Beat" -- wow! I've even gone and got me a theme song goshdarnit! And as we all know ALL of the best theme songs had lyrics.

For example: Family Ties ("I bet we've been together ... for a million years!)
Different Strokes ("Well the world don't move to the beat of just one drum")
The Love Boat ("Love ... Exciting and New!")

What do you think? What are your favourite TV themes? Are lyrics important?